Meanwhile, in an alternate universe not unlike our own….
EDWARD “WHITE EAGLE” NORTON SET TO PORTRAY HIS 12th GREAT GRANDMOTHER IN UPCOMING ‘POCAHONTAS’ BIOPIC
After recieving the news that his 12th great grandmother is indeed Pocahontas, Edward Norton has announced his intention to bring his acting “tomahawk” chops to the role.
“As soon as I was informed of the fact that my ancestor was indeed Pocahontas, I thought to myself, finally, now is the time for me to play the role I was born to play,” Norton remarked, while wearing a lovely buckskin dress.
When asked about how Norton felt he might be received as a cisgendered white male playing the young Powhatan victim of the colonial sex-trafficking, Norton’s publicist and medicine man “Jon Sacred Sage-Potpourri” replied, “Hey, not all white people are white. Also, the prosthethics and CGI we are working with are fantastic.”
Rumor has it that the role of Norton’s colonizer, sex trafficking rapist 12th great grandfather, John Rolfe will be played by famed Native American actor, Johnny Depp. Ezra Miller is confirmed as the voice of “Grandmother Willow.” Additional rumors tie the cast and crew of “Yellowstone” to the film, with Kevin Costner playing himself as the governor of Montana.
“Avatar 3: Pocahontas — The Colors Of The Wind,” will be directed by James Cameron, and is set to release on Indigenous Peoples Day.